In Desperate Times. Reality or Idealism?

After going through so much in university, I have finally given up getting the desired CAP I wanted and getting the second lower class. I would still prefer to cling on to my principle of having a balance in life. While I always see people mugging so hard, sacrificing their sleep, and making themselves haggard, it instead makes me feel more like slacking, feel that life can actually be better.

Of course, you can show yourself by putting in more effort to come up with an impressive work. But I feel that I could only do that if I have the capabilities and I have the drive to do. However, not many modules in university can actually push me to do it. In the end, I found myself doing more when designing the powerpoint slides. I could really concentrate for full one hour just to design nice interfaces or powerpoint slides, or just using photoshop doing mockups.

Or could be my stubbornness, always try hard to do individual assignment myself and not asking for help. I thought it would be better for me to try to solve the problem by myself so that I could grab the concept and remember better. What is the point of submitting a work that you don't even know what the hell you submitted?

But in the end, when the deadline is near, a desperate situation needs a desperate solution. When I'm on wits' end, I will turn to the really reliable man. And the solution always end up very easy. Luckily, this man always try to guide me by asking me questions step by step to solve the problem, so that I can really understand everything. I always try not to rely on him, but I realized my brain just could not function as fast as him. My brain power is really deteriorating. I could really sense that I could not think as fast as before. Or perhaps the pace of how university style of teaching is too fast that this naturally stupid brain of mine could not catch up. The pace of the past education like JC and Secondary were alright for me. I always ask this question: What is the point of making university education system the way it is now? People could just study and forget. Or the answer is too obvious while I'm oblivious to it?

I personally also feel that the learning process should be in a more fun environment. Indeed, some level of stress is inevitable and yet essential for student to grow. Education should not be learn, do and forget. It should be learn, do, have fun, and remember.

But with the deadlines and such a short time to complete so many things, would you choose reality resolution or foolishly cling on to the ideology of idealism like what I do?

Final Year - Current Progress 2

It is NOT going well. The sudden virus attack in my body is like a threat from preventing me to do well in my academic field. Is it me? Or I always feel there is something cropping up disrupting my flow whenever I put my heart into doing something academic-related stuff....

This virus attack has costed my Mid-Terms dearly. Having flu and cough, then later developed into fever for 2 separate days. And my first mid-term after the recess week was the day I just developed fever. In other words, I was in the middle of two battlefields... After the fever subsided, the flu and fever came back once again to haunt me. The running nose just went on and on, and I have to rub my nose again and again. Soon, the little scar inside my nose ruptured and finally the running nose became bleeding nose. For 3 times within 3 days. The umpteen times of cough had also caused a strain on my head. The weekend after that week was a complete hell. I totally have no mood to do anything. Is either the bed or Facebook or some games to relax.

When I thought I felt better, I began to study for my next mid-terms. And the bleeding nose came again. 2 times within a day. The second time caused a blood rush through my head, yet causing another throbbing pain in my head. In the end, cannot study further. I completely given up studying for that mid-term too... Talk about life.

Till now I have not fully recovered. And yet I still have so much things to do. Sometimes I really feel like giving up since fate is always pushing me into a corner...

Final Year - Current Progress 1

Overloading workload seems alright at the current stage. Because I can proudly say that I have only 3 days work week! It is already Week 5 and I am going my way out. Yeah, but only 60%. I have tried to do things that normal local student would not do such as revising things taught in the lecture. However, I felt sleepy when I faced difficulties and the net is really something that will distract me a lot. Still trying my best...

The assignments are piling up. The lethargic feeling is coming in. At this stage, I could only feel that getting the desired CAP/GPA is really far away from my reach. I really really wanted to do well. But saving money for Grad Trip and pushing for good grades do not come together! I could sacrifice my time and study in school, but since my pocket money do not allow me to have dinner outside, I need to fork out my own money! This is just crap. I should just jolly well use my savings and get my desired grade. Life has never been so bothersome because of stupid reason like no money.

Recently, a poor kid like me suddenly began to have more extravagant desire. I began to wish for a Macbook Pro, iPod Touch 5th Generation, Samsung Galaxy SIII and Nintendo 3DS. Yes, a weird combination. Undeniably, I am a strange person. I don't really like things combine into one.

MP3 and phone should be together! Well, I hate the idea cos I prefer my music undisturbed. While it is a good function to interrupt your music to pick up a probable emergency call, I feel that this function has no use on me. Battery too, will use up your charged electricity pretty fast if music and phone are running simultaneously.

3DS is a must since most of my favorite game companies are moving forward to the new 3D technology.

Samsung? Since I already decided on iOS device, why not getting an Android product?

Hope these things I can get it soon...

Pre-Semester Resolution, No More

It always has been a norm to write about how I hope I can do better and better each semester. But in reality, it is not working. At all. My results for the third year dropped, but fortunately was not that great. Then again, great enough for me to be emo about it.

I kind of getting this weird yet indescribable feeling ever since the school started just this Monday. Before each semester starts in previous years, I used to have this excited feeling. But now the feeling is completely diminished. I have no answer to why my body feels this way. There are times when I thought I understand myself, but when comes to the cognitive aspect, I feel like I am a stranger to myself.

Or perhaps, I may have losing interest to what I have been studying. And the internship experience I have gained is making me wanting to learn more about those things... Which means I will do badly for this semester again... If I cannot obtain a 3.8 this time, I need to strive for more in my final semester... Could this really be goodbye for my second-lower class honors?

I could not really assure myself at this stage.

We shall see.
We shall see.

The Most Exciting Summer

The hectic busy period of the Internship was finally over... Well, and so does my Internship period.

It was 5 days since the last day of my Internship. And the most important for me to do after that was do make up all the sleeping hours that I have lost!

It was really one eye-opener experience. But it did give the chance to ponder carefully over the things I've been through and really consider if it is the kind of job I would like to work in for the future.

But what I really enjoyed there was the bunch of awesome friends I have made over there. My department colleagues and the fellow interns. Will really miss them a lot. Although my stay over there was the shortest among the rest of the interns, I think I left quite a deep impression in their lives, I hope. The shortest is because I joined with the others a week later, so I had only 11 weeks, while the others are either 12 weeks or more as most of them extended more than 12 weeks. As for the deep impression, it was mostly made up of all the lamey stuff and mimicking acts from The Noose characters. And I definitely made a "positive" nuisance out of myself because whenever I appeared in a online conversation, the flow will just stop the moment my remark bumps in!

Right now, I still not sure if going back after I graduate will be the best thing to do since the main reason for me to go back is to reunite with my friends over there. Of course, it is not the way to go, but personally I don't really hate the work over there. The work environment was awesome; welfare was awesome; friends and colleagues were super duper awesome. What else can you ask for? Well, left one more, which is also another important thing. Yup, I hope people reading this will know what kind of thing to expect when looking for a job. I shall not mention so explicitly.

One year.
One year to decide and to explore the options.
One year.
One year to decide your future.
One year.
One year to Graduation Trip!!!