The Worst Year. Ever.

In short, this year had been a turmoil for me.

I remembered I read the Fortune reading for Dragon babies during Chinese New Year: You will face many ups and downs in your career this year... which I totally disregard that paragraph I have read. I mean it is just a bit superstitious to believe that. And I believe most people will only believe their own fortune reading when it says something very positive and bright. Who in the world likes to hear negative comments, unless you need constructive criticism and feedback.

But the fortune turned out to be true.

The career turned out to be the most disastrous event in my entire life. I will not go into the exact details. but the incident casted a huge shadow on me, and it took me a long time to recover from the darkness.

I was shouldering many tasks and was very stressed out, so I was complaining how demanding things can be to my fellow colleagues, and one of them went to make small reports on me, which eventually got myself fired. I was rather happy that I can be freed instead. However, the nightmare was actually that I have to serve 1 month notice... as stated “when needed” in the contract.

Within that month, I have done crazy stuff: Pushing my body to the limits, Getting sick without getting MC, Sometimes skip lunch, OT everyday, just to get things done for my bosses wholeheartedly. I stupidly thought they were poor thing because they might not be able to do many things since it was their first time stepping out to be bosses of the company. And hence, they might not be able to manage and plan themselves properly, so if there was anything I can help, I will go all out to help. That was my naive self.

Nobody owes the company anything or whatsoever.

But I just stick to my own character, and pressed on to the very last day, and I thought things could wrap up nicely on time. Whatever task I was assigned, I finished it nicely and fast. But things just came up one after another. I could see no end, even until 10pm. Only after some confrontation, then my bosses decided to let me go. Only after the whole last day I was finally awakened. The true faces of my superiors. I was too bloody stupid. I did not fight for myself. I broke down terribly.

From that day onwards, I have never lifted my pencil for months...

My passion has became a nightmare. Whenever I tried lifting a pencil, I could not draw anything decent anymore. The whole incident just came, throwing at your face... It took me months and friends for me to recover my passion.

But I know after that fateful incident, I have changed to another person...

After a few months, once I have recovered from the incident, I have also went to interview for a localiser position for a Japanese game industry. The email for interview and arrangement came in too fast, and I only had 2 days to prepare, and in between those days I need to work part time. You could day I went to the interview totally unprepared. I not sure why I would allow myself like that... Perhaps the changed person I am now.

Nevertheless, the interview went too bad. It was to the extent that I felt so ashamed for Chiba sensei who has been guiding me throughout my Japanese course in NUS. My Japanese sucked terribly during the interview. Now I would feel the embarrassed moment everytime I face Japanese... which is almost all around my house.

But after this round of interview, I began to feel that my character might not be able to handle work that is related to my passion and interest. So I decided not to venture in games industry, drawing or even things to do with Japanese anymore... Maybe the time when I have enough capital to start my own company. Haha.

But the question now is... What should I do?!