Disappointment...

It was a usual birthday celebration and I came out alone in the afternoon to get a present last minute. It was easy for me to get his present because the Birthday Boy had already listed his ideal presents. I picked a wallet. Then, I met up with Kai Yan shortly. He wanted to grab something to eat, so we went down to Basement 2 in Takashimaya. He ate Takoppachi, and I bought Gelato Ice-Cream. Both of us then stood in a corner, doing nothing. We did not speak much too. Just waiting quietly for others to come. As usual, the guys will be late. And as expected, MSG Eva could not join us for dinner, and Darrell is not having dinner with us, but he would still drop by. Meng Yong can join us for a while before going to his ex-colleague's wedding dinner.

Kai Yan and I went into Crystal Jade first and settled down. Shortly after Ming Jie arrived, Potato came, and later Meng Yong came, and lastly Darrell. Halfway through our meal, Meng Yong went off. After we had our dinner, the others thought of watching movie instead of drinking which was planned originally. On the way to Cineleisure, I was damn bored (Or sianz...). I was totally clueless why I would feel that way. I understand the reason why only so few people turned up for this outing, most of the people had their reasons. I also knew that this outing was supposed to be a celebration, and I must not show that kind of feeling. But I just cannot stop and continue to ponder.

The guys decided to watch the Mall Cop, and which Darrell has already watched it. Hence, he is not watching the same movie again. And so, he went off... Still wanna thank him for coming... I thought the comedy would make me feel better, but my mind just kept thinking... And just when I thought I felt a little bit better, another incident happened and that made my feeling even worse. Ming Jie actually forgotten his present and left it in the cinema!!! I thought we could still retrieve it back since we were still in the mall when we realised it. Unfortunately, the wallet just gone missing and never returned... The wallet I hand-picked it for him just gone...

When Ming Jie did not show any sense of anxiety and he said no use thinking since it has been a fact that the wallet would not be found anymore, I was quite angry with him... But after much thoughts, he was right after all. Then we walked to Dhoby Ghaut to find somewhere to sit down for a drink. On the way, I was even bored, and have no intention of hiding my boredom face in front of them. When Ming Jie asked, I intentionally said I am not thinking of anything. He immediately could see through me and said I'm not. He understand that I am troubled over organising outings for CSC, especially when this group is only made of a bunch of guys, and it is exceptionally hard to organise with a large group of 10 people...

What I think is, this group of people lack enthusiasm. When I plan outings for my other friends (Most of them are just guys), they will be happy to give out suggestions for dining spot, presents and activities and sometimes they would even pester me asking what is the final plan. CSC people are just totally opposite. They will just wait for things to happen... For the past CSC birthday celebrations, I would call up for a small meeting to look for presents, and I will ask for any special requests from the Birthday Boy, and then will think of dining spot and other activites for that day. But as the replies starting to get lesser and I just could not sense any enthusiasm from most of the replies, I decide to stop this small outing. And this time, I will go hand-picked the present myself without discussing with the others...

Yes, I'm tired of thinking everything alone. And I wanted to get attention from them and that is why I did not try to hide any of my feelings. If they just could not bother, I can just stop everything and we shall not meet out anymore... I have many other best friends out there. Ok, that sounds a bit too harsh. And I know it is quite outrageous to meet out almost every month to celebrate a birthday, and in fact it is impossible, and they have other commitments, other friends' birthdays, and family matters to take care of. But as close friends, isn't this is what they usually do? Come out to celebrate birthdays? After this year, when we enrolled in Universities and some would step into the working society, the time of meeting out will decrease tremendously. Therefore, I just wanted to use this time to meet out more and to have at least a chance to celebrate each other's birthdays... Am I overdoing it or is it I am the only one in the group who treasure this friendship?